|
|
| |
|
|
| |
This is where you stick random tidbits of information about yourself.
Age 23, living in sin in Twickenham with Cheesy
Likes
Movies
Books
Writing
Theatre
Hugs
Kittens
Chess
Scrabble (mostly beating Cheesy's butt)
Buffy The Vampire Slayer
Dislikes
Vegetables
Arguments
Cleaning
Trashy TV
Pretensions
Public Transport
Pets
Rabbits-Bambi, Fern, Sooty, Pippa-all deceased
Dog-Sammy-deceased :(
Fish-CatFlap-recently (and finally!) deceased
Cat-Tiggy-still scratching
|
|
|
|
Technically Rachel
|
|
| |
Thursday, January 22, 2004
Inspired by the exam story by Rockenspiel, I decided to dig out a forward I received years ago, but still to this day makes me laugh. This is basically a list of things to do in an exam that you just know (for whatever reason you may have) that you are going to fail:
Get a copy of the exam and run out screaming "Andre, Andre, I've got the secret documents!!"
Talk the entire way through the exam. Read questions aloud and debate your answers with yourself out loud. If asked to stop, yell out, "I'm S0 sure that you can hear me thinking." Then start talking about what a jerk the instructor is.
On the answer sheet find a new, interesting way to refuse to answer every question. For example: I refuse to answer this question on the grounds that it conflicts with my religious beliefs. Be creative.
Run into the exam room looking about frantically. Breathe a sigh of relief. Go to the instructor, say "They've found me, I have to leave thecountry" and run off.
15 minutes into the exam, stand up, rip up all the papers into very small pieces, throw them into the air and yell out "Merry Christmas." if you're really daring, ask for another copy of the exam. Say you lost the first one. Repeat this process every 15 minutes.
Come down with a BAD case of Turet's syndrome during the exam.
Bring things to throw at the instructor when she's not looking. Blame it on the person nearest to you.
As soon as the instructor hands you the exam, eat it.
Every 5 minutes stand up, collect all your things, move to another seat, and continiue with the exam.
Turn in the exam approximately 30 minutes into it. As you walk out, comment on how easy it was.
Get the exam. 20 minutes into it, throw your papers down violently, scream out "Screw this!", and walk out triumphantly.
Arrange a protest before the exam starts (ie. threaten the instructor that whether or not everyone's done, the whole class is leaving after one hour to go drink).
Show up completlely drunk (completely drunk means at some point during the exam, you should start crying for Mommy).
Comment on how sexy the instructor is looking that day.
Come to the exam wearing a black cloak. After about 30 minutes, put on a white mask and yell "I'm here, the Phantom of the Opera" until they drag you away.
If the exam is math/science related, make up the longest proofs that you can possibly think of. Get Pi and imaginary numbers into most equations. If it is a written exam, relate everything to your own life story.
Try to get people in the room to do a wave.
Bring some large, cumbersome, ugly idol. Put it right next to you. Pray to it often. Consider a small sacrifice.
During the exam, take apart everything around you. Desks, chairs, anything you can reach.
Walk in, get the exam, and sit down. About 5 minutes into it, loudly say to the instructor, "I don't understand ANY of this. I've been to every lecture all semester long! What's the deal? And who the hell are you? Where's the regular guy?"
Do the entire exam in another language. If you don't know one, make one up.
Bring a block marker. Return the exam with all questions and answers completely blacked out.
Every now and then, clap twice rapidly. If the instructor asks why, tell him/her in a very derogatory tone, "the light bulb that goes on above my head when I get an idea is hooked up to a clapper. Duh!"
From the moment the exam begins, hum the theme to Jeopardy. When they finally get you to leave one way or another, begin whistling the theme to the Bridge on the River Kwai.
After you get the exam, call the instructor over, point to any question, ask for the answer. Try to work it out of him/her.
8:34 am
|
|
| |
|
|
|
