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This is where you stick random tidbits of information about yourself.
Age 23, living in sin in Twickenham with Cheesy
Likes
Movies
Books
Writing
Theatre
Hugs
Kittens
Chess
Scrabble (mostly beating Cheesy's butt)
Buffy The Vampire Slayer
Dislikes
Vegetables
Arguments
Cleaning
Trashy TV
Pretensions
Public Transport
Pets
Rabbits-Bambi, Fern, Sooty, Pippa-all deceased
Dog-Sammy-deceased :(
Fish-CatFlap-recently (and finally!) deceased
Cat-Tiggy-still scratching
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Technically Rachel
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Friday, July 09, 2004
Some people get reprimanded by their employers, or their school, or even their partners, for certain stories revealed on one's blog. I, however, get reprimanded by my sister. Fat Ass was not amused by previously posted stories about our history together. I forget how vastly our sense of humour differs, and stories that I now find funny and posted for amusement have left her hurt and preparing for the biggest Fat Ass silence to date in order to demonstrate how vastly pissed at me she is. Since apologies are so far getting me nowhere, I need alternative solutions.
So - the remedy.
First - a poll from those of you in the blogging community. Please comment on your own instances where you have told stories of siblings (or those of a similar level of closeness) on your blog that put them in a less than favourable light for the sake of you and your readers' amusement. Greg - you know I'm talking to you.
Secondly - I shall dedicate this post the wonderfullness that is the Fat Ass. See below for her likeness:
It's true - it's her!
Now then - I believe it is only fair that since I've have told stories about her being an annoying sister, I should do the same for myself.
So - many many years ago (and this is a story I've been reminded of repeatedly until maybe a few years ago), when I was maybe seven or eight, I was playing with my cousin. Fat Ass (with a much smaller ass at the tender age of 14) was in the next room with her then boyfriend. At some point (purely for the purpose of annoyance) we burst in giggling to see the pair of them smooching. Being 8, we found this absolutely hysterical, and ran away with her yelling at us. Theoretically, end of story. Not so.
A week or so later, Easter was upon us, and as per tradition we embarked to my Granny's for Easter lunch. Now, this is my Dad's side of the family, who are excessively church going and extremely moralistic. Fun, I hear you cry. To be fair, when you're 8, everythings fun - and this occasion I had the most fun ever. At someone else expense of course. Three guesses who.
Now - I don't know how it even started - I was young and it was long ago, so all the details are not totally clear. But somehow, the conversation at the dinner table came around to my sister and her boyfriend. To which I piped up loudly that I had seen them snogging. Lots of laughter. Being the attention seeking entertainer I was back then (okay, and am still), laughter was like a drug, and suddenly having everyone's attention and humour kept me going. Being 8 of course, I had yet to learn to distinguish between amused laughter, and embarrassed laughter. So on I went - how I'd walked in on them kissing in a room which had had the door closed, that he was lying on top of her, and on and on... I was a naive child, so admittedly (and Fat Ass still doesn't believe me on this one) I was not aware how much sexual undertone there was to my descriptions. I was also unaware that her laughter and that of my parents was very much not amused. In the car on the way home I got the biggest bollocking of my love thus far, and Fat Ass I think to this day has never forgiven me for it.
I might also point out that through my younger years and her teenage years I have repeatedly told her boyfriends embarassing stories about her. In fact, scrap that, to this day I have told her boyfriends embarrassing stories (as Billy Zane will attest).
Look at Fat Ass and her fella - aren't they cute!
 
I have also numerous times in my teens stolen her makeup, clothes or toiletries, and while she was in Australia until recently I nicked her sparkly black top and wore it many many times. I use the time old excuse for this in that I admire her so, I must nick all her stuff!
Have I compensated enough you reckon?
A Message for My Sister
12:32 pm
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