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This is where you stick random tidbits of information about yourself.
Age 23, living in sin in Twickenham with Cheesy
Likes
Movies
Books
Writing
Theatre
Hugs
Kittens
Chess
Scrabble (mostly beating Cheesy's butt)
Buffy The Vampire Slayer
Dislikes
Vegetables
Arguments
Cleaning
Trashy TV
Pretensions
Public Transport
Pets
Rabbits-Bambi, Fern, Sooty, Pippa-all deceased
Dog-Sammy-deceased :(
Fish-CatFlap-recently (and finally!) deceased
Cat-Tiggy-still scratching
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Technically Rachel
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Tuesday, December 07, 2004
Last night I dreamed about a kettle.... it's sadly true.
See, there's this kettle we use in our office in Northampton. I managed to knock out the filter last week and hadn't been able to figure out how the blasted thing went back in. I eventually wedged it in, but since it sat well beneath the water line, I reckoned I'd done it wrong. Time went on, and no one else fixed it. And damn it, it bugged me every time I made a cup of tea that it was wrong. Numerous occasions I looked at it again and tried to figure it out. It looked right, but was definitely wrong.
So, being in my subconscious I dreamed about the kettle. More specifically I dreamed about fixing the kettle. The dream came back to me when I was making tea this morning, and I did what I'd done in the dream and bugger me but it fixed it! All it involved was turning the sodding filter upside down, as my dream had told me. I can't decide if this makes me an incredible saddo or technically psychic. I have in the end decided that my subconscious is obviously a lot more intelligent than my conscious self and took pity on it and gave it the answer.
Kitchen - Day 1
Rachel and Conscious Self muse over the kettle and the filter, mindlessly trying to put the two together like a monkey bashing a star into the decahedron hole. Conscious Self scratches it's bit of brain
Conscious Self No, it can't be done. You must have broken a bit of it, just wedge it in... ok, now the lid won't close...
Subconscious Self (Bashing on the cerebral wall) No, no, you fool! Look, look - just turn the bloody thing upside down!
Conscious Self ...wedge it in further. There - that's the lid closed, all done - it'll be fine.
Subconscious Self Look at it properly you muppet - it's not fixed.
Conscious Self Hmmm, it's not really fixed, is it?
Subconscious Self Yes. Well done.
Conscious Self It'll just have to do, won't it. I leave it and let it bug me day after day.
Subconscious Self bashes its head against the cerebral wall in disgust
Kitchen - Day 2
Conscious Self Man, this kettle is annoying now its broken.
Subconscious Self You deserve to be annoyed by it, you muppet. Fix it!
Conscious Self Let me fiddle with it again.
Conscious Self proceeds to take out the filter, look at it quizzically and put it in exactly as before but with extra fervour, as if that will make it work this time
Conscious Self Shrug.
Subconscious Self AAAAAAARRRRRGGGGHHHH!
Kitchen - Day 3
The scene repeats as before. Subconscious Self learns some new swear words
Kitchen - Day 4
The scene repeats as before. Subconscious Self weeps quietly in a corner, muttering darkly about brain surgery
Scroat House Hotel - Day 5
Conscious Self is happily snoozing away in Rachel's brain. Subconscious Self cannot take the frustration and weaves a simply non-plot dream to bore Rachel with. In it is shown exactly how to fix the kettle in simple step by step instructions
Subconscious Self Look! See! It's easy. Fix it - I can't take this anymore.
The dream is instructed to play 10 times over so Rachel doesn't sodding forget it. The trigger for the memory is of course a kettle.
Kitchen - Day 5
Rachel and Conscious Self are making a cup of tea
Rachel (To Conscious Self) You know, I had a dream last night how to fix this kettle. I wonder if it works...
Conscious Self Hmmm, no not sure that will work. You remember what happened last time you listened to your dreams. You thought you'd snogged one of your classmates and avoided him the rest of the day.
Rachel Yeah, that was pretty silly.
Subconscious Self (Frothing at the mouth) Listen to her you bastard! She has the answer!!
Conscious Self Still, in this instance I suppose it wouldn't hurt.
Rachel and Conscious Self lift out the filter, turn it upside down and put it in - it fits perfectly, just like in the dream
Conscious Self Wow. I'm psychic!
Subconscious Self stomps off as far as the brain will allow and sulks, moans about being inconsequential, ignored, and develops an insecurity complex about whether anyone likes them and decides to move out
THE END
6:26 pm
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